So today Cody tried to Skype with me, unfortunately it wouldn't go through. He said that it was very cloudy where he was and didn't know if that was the reason why. It came through but was very jumpy. Then we got on the phone and he was tired like usual and I got a little "fussy" about how I want more fun conversations. I mean I know he is working everyday without a day off and going to class and all that. And I've let our very "safe" and low key convos go...even though I wanted a little more. But I just really wanted to just laugh with him. He always tells me how much he loves me and we talk about our days. But I've been missing our completely random conversations...the convos that make us....us. So after I "fussed" alittle bit we got off the phone and I was sooo upset. We never got to have the fun part of the convo. He had to go take a shower and go to bed. I felt soo sad....so I sent him this long email that was just raw emotion about how I was feeling. Right as I pressed the send button Cody called me again. He said that he was in the shower and he was thinking and wanted to talk to me again and make sure I was happy and to have the fun part of our convo. I was so thankful that he called back bc it would have ruined my day. Plus, he's just such a good guy....he really cares and we really do love each other. So I told him he might not want to read his email bc I didn't think he was going to call me back. I think he thought that it was going to be a really bad email saying that I couldn't handle the deployment anymore. So I read to him what I wrote. Which basically said how I hope he gets more sleep, to call me only when he really wants to talk and is feeling up to talking bc I didn't want to be a responsibility but I want him to want to talk and some other stuff. I also said that I wanted our convos to just be a little more fun and random...insteady of consistant and safe. I told him that we've both been holding back any strong emotions for the sake of the other person in the relationship so there is no added stress....but that I felt that it was neglecting what was true to our relationship....and that is emotional and open communication. Cody felt the exact same why I did and said he was thankful for my email. He said that he ALWAYS wants to call me everyday and never once has it been a responsibility but that he just wants to talk to his baby. But that a lot of the time he will go on autopilot because he is soo tired from the whole day. And I told him that I completely understood and that I want him to be able to sleep or vent when he needs to. And he said that he would try extra hard to make sure that we can have fun convos bc he misses them too. So then we proceeded to have the best conversation and joke on each other and laugh and joke on each other some more. I told him that his car wasn't running and that I ran over a sign (2 things I kept from him bc of the sake of added stress) but I laughed about them and told him that he has to send me a plum purple hoodie before I charge the battery in his car....he laughed as well and told me that I was murdering Senor Butternut (his car)! hahaha
And I just want to say this is why I love my husband soooo much. Because there are going to be tough times ahead in life....there will be happy, sad, hurt, excitement, love.....every emotion you could ever have it put into a relationship. And we feel all of them with each other. And whenever we hit a small little bump in the road or tough times.....we always listen to how the other one feels and then we work extra hard to show that person we heard them and want to make them happy. It's a 2 way street in which we both try. And I couldn't imagine a marriage where my husband didn't care about my feelings or just brushed them aside. I love Cody with all of my heart!! He is sooo good to me!!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Kids are soooo cute (uh oh)
hahaha I guess that baby hormone is kickin' into overdrive LOL....So Cody and I want to wait for two more years before we try to have any kids. The main reasons are so I can finish my master's degree, for us to save up some $$, and to also just enjoy being together as a married couple without that huge responsibility. Logically the 2 year waiting makes sense. Until I see the most adorable kids like everyday!! He's lucky because he doesn't have to work with them everyday, he doesn't have to see his friends kids everyday. So here is my kids rundown this weekend. It was definately in overdrive:
Friday Night-Went to Tina's house before our scrapbook night. When I get to Tina's she has SIX kids there, 2 were hers, 1 was her sisters, and 3 were a neighbors she was watching till they got off work. And every single one of them were adorable. They have the dance game on Wii and wanted me to see them dance. And let me tell you....if you want to smile, just have kids from ages 5-10 play the dance game on wii. OMG soo cute!!
Saturday Morning- I went to the Big Brothers/Big Sisters "Bowl for Kids Sake" Charity with my coworkers/friends. Tina brought her two kids (ages 5 &9) and Suzanne & Mike brought Sam (14 mo.). So they had the DJ at the bowling alley and we were all dancing and bowling. I had Caden (5yo) wave his hand over my bowling ball to give it a little extra magic juice. It was adorable. Blake (9yo) would help us figure out which pins we should try to knock down. Plus 5-Fives were a given for everyone!! And little Baby Sam got to bowl for the 1st time! HOW CUTE!! Then Mike put baby sam on my lap while I was sitting....BAD IDEA. I didn't want to let him go LOL....I skipped my turn to bowl because I was having so much fun with Sam. Then Caden came over and gave Sam a hug. Hello that was like a trifecta of cuteness!! An overload if you will. Then when we were done I was showing Blake how to do the wave with his hands which turned into the whole group of us (about 10) doing the wave in a big circle! Lets just say I had a blast.
Saturday afternoon and Night- So after the bowling my best friend Sondra came to my house. We had decided that it would be fun to get lost on Ft. Eustis. I only know where the Commissary, PX, and Gym are and I really would like to see the rest of Post. So we get on Post and decide that we are hungry. We head straight over to the PX and get some food. While we are sitting there I'm telling her about my morning and how I want kids. She said that she and Will have bounced around the ideas a couple times but they are going to wait. I told her that they were lucky because they live with her brother, sis-in-law and their child Aly (2 yo). So they basically get to play with Aly all the time and get to help with Parenting which takes the baby edge off. She began telling me that her brother and sis-in-law had asked their other sisters husband to watch Aly tonight but that they don't like that guy cause he's not really good with Aly. He's pretty much an asshole. Sondra was like we can watch Aly tonight if you want to. And I was like heck yeah! So Sondra decided that instead of going to her house and just watching her there we should bring Aly to my house so I really get to know how it feels to parent. I liked this idea. So we went to the comissary and picked up groceries first and then headed to pick up Aly. (so now we have completely scrapped the idea of getting lost on post, going to the 2 places I know how to get to and heading off again hahaha).
So we pick up Aly and I put her in her car seat (1x I've done that). Then we went into the grocery store to pick up a bottle of juice. Once we got to my house I baby proofed it the best I could. She danced in my living room and found things I've never realized were in my house haha. I then changed my 1st pee diaper ever. It was a little weird changing a diaper, not gonna lie. but Sondra said I did a really good job. Then I proceeded to make dinner...which I normally suck at but I guess the mommy gene came out of me because it was pretty good. I tried to get Aly to say my name since her words are limited. She gave the a name that sounded close to mama like muahma.....so I decided to make my name a little easier for her so she started calling me lala (carla---lala..) So I helped her eat dinner. Then we boiled eggs and had an Easter egg coloring kit and helped her dye Easter eggs. It was her 1st time ever doing it. It was sooo funny. She just dunked the whole egg in the cup of coloring hahahah and then she just rolled it around the paint. It was soo cute. Then it was straight up to bath time. I've never given a baby a bath either. So Sondra set me up and told me what I needed to do then she left to go clean the kitchen as I baby bathed. haha. She doesn't like getting her hair wet so I thought of discrete ways of doing it and making her laugh so she wouldn't go on complete freak out mode. After she was clean I put on her PJ's and we brushed her teeth. Man these were a lot of 1sts. Then we were watching Elmo downstairs on the couch with a big quilt. It was nice. Then she made the poop face. and Sondra looked at me and told me that this would be my 1st poopy diaper. I was scared hahaha. So I take off that diaper and there was sitting a little poopy right in her butt. I'm not gonna lie. I've never seen a poopy in a butt EVER. I never was around babies. I'm used to school aged kids. So I held my breath and just did the job needed and I thought I would freak out but I feel I did a pretty good job. Then we watched some more elmo and Blues Clues. Then you could tell she was getting sleepy. So Sondra told me how to rock her to sleep and put her in bed. So I went up stairs and rocked her to sleep and layed her in the bed. But you have to lay next to her or she'll get up. So I was laying in the dark with her, trying not to fall asleep my self and every time I would get up to leave she would sit straight up. So after a little maneuvering and time I figured a way to get out of the bed w/o waking her. And that was it. I have now taken care of a baby!! YAY! And I have to say that I can imagine taking care of a baby by yourself. It's a lot of work. I give my respect to those single mothers/fathers out there and military wives/husbands that take care of all the kids when their SO is deployed! It's tough stuff. So I still want a baby, but I think just babysitting for a while will do just fine. It was a fun Saturday!!
Friday Night-Went to Tina's house before our scrapbook night. When I get to Tina's she has SIX kids there, 2 were hers, 1 was her sisters, and 3 were a neighbors she was watching till they got off work. And every single one of them were adorable. They have the dance game on Wii and wanted me to see them dance. And let me tell you....if you want to smile, just have kids from ages 5-10 play the dance game on wii. OMG soo cute!!
Saturday Morning- I went to the Big Brothers/Big Sisters "Bowl for Kids Sake" Charity with my coworkers/friends. Tina brought her two kids (ages 5 &9) and Suzanne & Mike brought Sam (14 mo.). So they had the DJ at the bowling alley and we were all dancing and bowling. I had Caden (5yo) wave his hand over my bowling ball to give it a little extra magic juice. It was adorable. Blake (9yo) would help us figure out which pins we should try to knock down. Plus 5-Fives were a given for everyone!! And little Baby Sam got to bowl for the 1st time! HOW CUTE!! Then Mike put baby sam on my lap while I was sitting....BAD IDEA. I didn't want to let him go LOL....I skipped my turn to bowl because I was having so much fun with Sam. Then Caden came over and gave Sam a hug. Hello that was like a trifecta of cuteness!! An overload if you will. Then when we were done I was showing Blake how to do the wave with his hands which turned into the whole group of us (about 10) doing the wave in a big circle! Lets just say I had a blast.
Saturday afternoon and Night- So after the bowling my best friend Sondra came to my house. We had decided that it would be fun to get lost on Ft. Eustis. I only know where the Commissary, PX, and Gym are and I really would like to see the rest of Post. So we get on Post and decide that we are hungry. We head straight over to the PX and get some food. While we are sitting there I'm telling her about my morning and how I want kids. She said that she and Will have bounced around the ideas a couple times but they are going to wait. I told her that they were lucky because they live with her brother, sis-in-law and their child Aly (2 yo). So they basically get to play with Aly all the time and get to help with Parenting which takes the baby edge off. She began telling me that her brother and sis-in-law had asked their other sisters husband to watch Aly tonight but that they don't like that guy cause he's not really good with Aly. He's pretty much an asshole. Sondra was like we can watch Aly tonight if you want to. And I was like heck yeah! So Sondra decided that instead of going to her house and just watching her there we should bring Aly to my house so I really get to know how it feels to parent. I liked this idea. So we went to the comissary and picked up groceries first and then headed to pick up Aly. (so now we have completely scrapped the idea of getting lost on post, going to the 2 places I know how to get to and heading off again hahaha).
So we pick up Aly and I put her in her car seat (1x I've done that). Then we went into the grocery store to pick up a bottle of juice. Once we got to my house I baby proofed it the best I could. She danced in my living room and found things I've never realized were in my house haha. I then changed my 1st pee diaper ever. It was a little weird changing a diaper, not gonna lie. but Sondra said I did a really good job. Then I proceeded to make dinner...which I normally suck at but I guess the mommy gene came out of me because it was pretty good. I tried to get Aly to say my name since her words are limited. She gave the a name that sounded close to mama like muahma.....so I decided to make my name a little easier for her so she started calling me lala (carla---lala..) So I helped her eat dinner. Then we boiled eggs and had an Easter egg coloring kit and helped her dye Easter eggs. It was her 1st time ever doing it. It was sooo funny. She just dunked the whole egg in the cup of coloring hahahah and then she just rolled it around the paint. It was soo cute. Then it was straight up to bath time. I've never given a baby a bath either. So Sondra set me up and told me what I needed to do then she left to go clean the kitchen as I baby bathed. haha. She doesn't like getting her hair wet so I thought of discrete ways of doing it and making her laugh so she wouldn't go on complete freak out mode. After she was clean I put on her PJ's and we brushed her teeth. Man these were a lot of 1sts. Then we were watching Elmo downstairs on the couch with a big quilt. It was nice. Then she made the poop face. and Sondra looked at me and told me that this would be my 1st poopy diaper. I was scared hahaha. So I take off that diaper and there was sitting a little poopy right in her butt. I'm not gonna lie. I've never seen a poopy in a butt EVER. I never was around babies. I'm used to school aged kids. So I held my breath and just did the job needed and I thought I would freak out but I feel I did a pretty good job. Then we watched some more elmo and Blues Clues. Then you could tell she was getting sleepy. So Sondra told me how to rock her to sleep and put her in bed. So I went up stairs and rocked her to sleep and layed her in the bed. But you have to lay next to her or she'll get up. So I was laying in the dark with her, trying not to fall asleep my self and every time I would get up to leave she would sit straight up. So after a little maneuvering and time I figured a way to get out of the bed w/o waking her. And that was it. I have now taken care of a baby!! YAY! And I have to say that I can imagine taking care of a baby by yourself. It's a lot of work. I give my respect to those single mothers/fathers out there and military wives/husbands that take care of all the kids when their SO is deployed! It's tough stuff. So I still want a baby, but I think just babysitting for a while will do just fine. It was a fun Saturday!!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Grrr.....
It makes me sooo angry when some people are just sooo mean! I don't get it! And it's even worse when there isn't anything you can do about it. DH called me today and you could immediately tell something was wrong. I asked him what happened and he said that today the guys were taking about who was going to be taking the shop cars on base in Iraq to get around. Well they had made certain arrangements, but I guess one of the guys didn't realize that most of the rest of the shop was going to be at a commanders call and Cody was going to class on base. So Cody knew that this guy was going to need a ride. So the good guy that my husband wanted to make sure this guy had a ride before he left for his class. Well, the guy was sleeping and Cody woke him up and asked him if he needed a ride. The guy rolled over and basically ripped him a new one for waking him up. Cody then went to class and I guess later that night they were in the car heading the the chow hall and Cody asked him if he was tired. And the guy rudely said "What do you think?" and he said there was this huge tension between them.
Now this pissed the crap outta me!! It makes me soooooooooooo angry! Cody was just trying to be a good guy and the guy takes it out on him. OK if you are tired and grumpy, apologize after it happens, don't make things worse by being a dick! Now Cody is feeling like crap and wondering if HE should apologize. GRRR!!! Nobody should make him feel bad. And I know this is a big deal to Cody because he likes for everyone to be in a good mood and it bugs him when someone is being mean all the time. And it doesn't help that when Cody was a little kid if he woke his dad up by accident, his dad would basically beat him. So it brings back bad feeling when this type of this happened with his dad. And all I wanted to do was hug him and tell him it's going to be okay. That he doesn't deserve to feel that way and that this guy doesn't deserve to be around someone as good as Cody. I just want my baby to be feeling better and happy. And there isn't anything I can do. I mean he said just talking to me made him feel better, but you could still hear it in his voice. I'm hoping this dude wakes up tomorrow and realizes what an ass he has been and trys to be a little nicer in general. And I've met this guy before and I didn't like him when I met him. I normally am a very talkative person and I like to socialize with the guys in his shop just so I can get to know them. During the last thing we were at (one of the 1st times I was at something he was at) he didn't stop to say hi to like anyone. Some of the other guys at the shop were like "Hey man" and he would just raise his chin, no smile or say anything and keep walking. I'm also observe people...I guess it's the Social Work skills..... And I saw the way he talked and interacted with other people....and he isn't a friendly person. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.......................what can I do?? I just want Cody to feel better!!!
Now this pissed the crap outta me!! It makes me soooooooooooo angry! Cody was just trying to be a good guy and the guy takes it out on him. OK if you are tired and grumpy, apologize after it happens, don't make things worse by being a dick! Now Cody is feeling like crap and wondering if HE should apologize. GRRR!!! Nobody should make him feel bad. And I know this is a big deal to Cody because he likes for everyone to be in a good mood and it bugs him when someone is being mean all the time. And it doesn't help that when Cody was a little kid if he woke his dad up by accident, his dad would basically beat him. So it brings back bad feeling when this type of this happened with his dad. And all I wanted to do was hug him and tell him it's going to be okay. That he doesn't deserve to feel that way and that this guy doesn't deserve to be around someone as good as Cody. I just want my baby to be feeling better and happy. And there isn't anything I can do. I mean he said just talking to me made him feel better, but you could still hear it in his voice. I'm hoping this dude wakes up tomorrow and realizes what an ass he has been and trys to be a little nicer in general. And I've met this guy before and I didn't like him when I met him. I normally am a very talkative person and I like to socialize with the guys in his shop just so I can get to know them. During the last thing we were at (one of the 1st times I was at something he was at) he didn't stop to say hi to like anyone. Some of the other guys at the shop were like "Hey man" and he would just raise his chin, no smile or say anything and keep walking. I'm also observe people...I guess it's the Social Work skills..... And I saw the way he talked and interacted with other people....and he isn't a friendly person. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.......................what can I do?? I just want Cody to feel better!!!
I slept like a BABY last night
OMG....I feel AMAZING today!! I slept sooooooo good last night. I prayed about it and was in the middle of praying for Cody when Cody texted me how much he loved me. I love God and everything he does! It's amazing! So now I'm feeling VERY upbeat!! WOO HOO! Just wanted to say that!! And it's Friday too!!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Bad Dreams and Exhaustion
So this whole week I've had the most horrible dreams. I can't actually remember what they were about but I continually toss and turn and I wake up in the middle night almost petrified. Then of course my alarm goes off and I'm sooooo tired because I haven't gotten any sleep. It's really weird that I'm having such horrible sleep. I have NEVER ever had multiple bad nights. And I don't know why. It it something I ate, something I have seen, done, stress.....I have no idea. But I don't know what to do to make it better. So I'm not really sure who I should ask about this anyway....a sleep doctor? haha a regular doctor? A psychologist LOL....well if this was continual for a long time I might actually look into it. But I'm hoping that it will work itself out and praying that tonight will be a better night. Another thing that I've been doing all this week has been thinking of Cody when going to bed...I mean of course I think about him every night....but this week I've been really dreaming about his homecoming and the airport scene. And it's a really intense happiness when I'm heading to sleep....I don't know if that is flipping when I go to bed to be something horrible....who knows! I give up trying to figure it out why. I just wish Cody were here to let me fall asleep in his arms, and have him kiss my forehead and rub my head till I fall asleep. Well see how tonight's sleep goes....
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Got Yeti??
So my co-worker and I (one of the girls that went to Puerto Rico) were talking about the Sky Mall Magazine on airplanes and I expressed my love for the 3 foot Yeti Statue!! She agreed and while we were at work looked up pictures of the Yeti Statue and people had actually put up pictures of them dressing up the Yeti and put user reviews. At this point, we decided without a doubt that our unit MUST HAVE THE YETI!!!! Hello-it would make EVERYONE laugh and it will help reduce the stress from the very difficult issues we have to work with on a daily basis. Well, during our joking banter, she said something about a powerpoint presentation. I was like Girl, I'm totally on it. 8 pictures of yeti's and 15 minutes later we have the most amazing powerpoint presentation to convince the rest of our co-workers that they want to chip in to buy the yeti statue. So today we got the projector and told everyone we had a presentation for our unit meeting (our supervisor is wonderful and allows us to be goofy). The night before we made shirts that said "Got Yeti?" And had this stupid things is our hair! Super tacky! The presentation started out looking like a boring slide show about reducing burnout. 1 slide into it they started to realize it was one big joke! It was HILARIOUS!! Totally not politically correct, but hilarious! So I'm hoping to say that by the end of the week we will have enough office volunteers to buy the Yeti Statue LOL!!! I can't wait!!! By the way, I love my co-workers they are ridiculous! We continued to walk around the office the whole day wearing our Got Yeti t-shirts hahahaha And yes, I understand this is such a random post haha
Monday, February 22, 2010
Working Out
Ok....so when I'm actually working out at the gym I really like it.....afterwards.....I feel amazing and healthy that I went to work out. But why is it soo hard to GET to the gym? It's like a dread it....but it doesn't make sense, bc I feel great during and after. Weird!!
But I went today and I feel GREAT!! Now the hard part....I need to go again tomorrow! I want to get into a routine. But it seems like every time I try to get in a routine, I can't...b/w work, school, appointments, friends, family. Tomorrow I have the dentist....so the question is....to go to the gym and drool on myself (hahaha) or not to go and suck because I'm never going to get in a routine.
Ok....I'm just talking in circles LOL
But I went today and I feel GREAT!! Now the hard part....I need to go again tomorrow! I want to get into a routine. But it seems like every time I try to get in a routine, I can't...b/w work, school, appointments, friends, family. Tomorrow I have the dentist....so the question is....to go to the gym and drool on myself (hahaha) or not to go and suck because I'm never going to get in a routine.
Ok....I'm just talking in circles LOL
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